The countdown has begun as you and your child have entered the final days that you’ll be living under the same roof. For some, that clock has been ticking at the back of their mind for months already, years even. Ahead, visions of your child’s journey to adulthood and all of the wonderful dreams you’ve dreamt alongside them are coupled with the unsettling thoughts of living in a much less active, and quieter home. Adding another layer to all of this—you have to encourage your little bird out of the nest and watch as they embark on a solo flight into a whole new world of experiences and challenges.
While this summer has been a time for your child to savor their accomplishments and look ahead to their future, it’s also provided opportunities for you as a parent to navigate the changing dynamics and embrace the new possibilities that lie ahead. This is an equally transformative time for both you and your child.
A whirlwind of emotions will likely crescendo as move-in day approaches. You may feel a sense of pride and joy as you witness your child’s growth and independence, coupled with a tinge (or more) of sadness and apprehension about the impending separation.
Here are two important pieces to remember as you begin your transition to an empty nest:
1. Acceptance: This is key; acknowledge your feelings and understand that they are a normal part of the process. It’s important to find solace in the fact that there is a change ahead, but also to remind yourself that you have the tools to grow and thrive in this new chapter of your life.
2. Sharing your emotions: While all of this is coursing through your head, don’t forget to look to the people in your circle who may be able to relate and offer support. Leaning on a spouse or partner can be beneficial because they may be experiencing the change with the same intensity, albeit in slightly different ways that might shed light on difficulties in your perspective. Also looking to family members who have experienced the same thing is helpful, like parents, grandparents, or cousins. Family members can offer great advice, especially since many of them have gone through the exact same thing! Lastly, leaning on a good friend who actively listens can make all the difference when you feel overwhelmed or upset.
In these final days of summer, engage in activities that you both enjoy, whether it’s planning a family getaway, dining at a favorite restaurant, exploring local events and attractions, or simply spending quality time together at home. You’ve both achieved something and will be moving on to new opportunities—
Another way to connect and share time is by helping them plan for their departure—research and acquire any necessary items for their dorm room or apartment. Perhaps most of all, it’s important to encourage your child to take advantage of this time to relax, recharge, and prepare for their upcoming college adventure. Discuss practical matters such as budgeting, time management, and self-care strategies. Resources like Grown and Flown provide helpful checklists and articles that will help you and your child prepare.
As your child departs and begins their next chapter, you’ll find yourself with more time. Old hobbies, or new activities that have piqued your interest could become vital and invigorating aspects of your week moving forward. Consider taking a class, joining a Meetup, or volunteering for causes you care about – this is a chance to prioritize your well-being and invest in yourself in ways you couldn’t before.
The first few months are also a crucial time to have regular check-ins with your child. Offer your support regularly, reminding them that you’ll always be there for support, even at a distance. Your role as a parent or guardian is evolving from caregiver to mentor—encourage them to embrace this new chapter with confidence and enthusiasm. If your child feels at a loss and anxiety builds, meet them where they are and take time alongside them to browse available resources online to answer those nagging questions. Beyond college websites, organizations like the JED Foundation offer great advice for young adults in need.
Throughout this transition, you can navigate with grace and optimism by embracing your emotions, making the most of your time together, seeking personal growth, and continuing to support your son or daughter. The empty nest isn’t an ending, but rather a continuation of your developing relationship with your child. Celebrate your shared accomplishments, rediscover and develop new passions, and look forward to the exciting possibilities that lie ahead.