In the flurry of plans and dreams to make this new year the “best year yet,” an important opportunity may be missed: the chance to pause, take a deep breath, and reflect on the moments that made last year meaningful. Some years are thrilling rides to relive together, but even the toughest years hold moments and experiences that are important for families to make time to talk through. While numerous models can help with a myriad of reflective goals, here are five fun reflective activities families can use to look back on the previous year together and learn a little more about each other in the process.
- COLLAGE of FIRSTS, SURPRISES, and DISCOVERIES: Create a collage celebrating all the things that members of the family discovered, learned, and tried for the first time over the year. Get creative – a playbill from a first play, The recipe of a new dish someone cooked for the family. Leaves or pressed wildflowers from the first visit to a hiking trail or new park. Postcards, plane tickets, or other mementos from trips to new cities or destinations. Even quotes from books or magazines that jumped out and brought new insight into your lives. Discuss each addition and its meaning. With a little effort, the final product could be framed or placed in a shadowbox and updated every year.
- SIMPLY THE BEST: Take turns remembering each person’s “favorites” or “bests” from the previous year. Make a list of different “best” or “favorite” categories that make sense to your family, and let each person take turns picking which category they want everyone to share. One by one, each person can share their favorite from the selected category, and then the last person to share picks the next category. For example: What was each person’s favorite day of the year? Favorite gift they gave or received? Favorite news they heard? Favorite article of clothing or toy? Favorite new thing they tried? Favorite outing? Favorite friend? Favorite activity? Favorite song? Favorite movie or game? Favorite moment or memory? When it makes sense, family members can ask “Why was that your favorite?” or “What made that the best for you?” Listening to each other’s stories will help build curiosity about what each person finds meaningful, wonderful, and memorable.
- STUNTMAN OR DO-OVER? Everybody has crazy moments that replay in their minds. One fun way to look back and remember these cringy moments from the past year with a little levity is to ask: “Share one big moment from this last year. If you could ask for do-overs on that moment, or ask for a stunt double to do it for you, what would you choose?” Naming the moment, sharing how it felt, and why it was tough can give the other family members a chance to laugh, cry, and cringe right along with the storyteller, to just be with them in that awkward moment, affirm that they can understand why that was hard, and help them see that they are not alone.
- PICTURE THIS: Purchase some butcher paper or a large poster board. Grab a bunch of crayons, colored pencils, or markers, and clear off the table or a big space on the floor. As a family, gather around the poster board or butcher paper. In the center of the poster, write the year. Then, together, everyone can begin drawing whatever words or images flood their minds about what happened that year. Give yourselves a time limit—up to an hour is plenty—and make sure everyone has their own dedicated space to fill. When finished, give everyone a chance to share why they chose to draw or write what they did.
- ONE WORD: This activity may take a little forethought. Perhaps a week in advance, tell everyone in the family they have a week to pick one word that best describes how they think or feel about the last year. When the time is up, give each person an index card to write their word on. Come together and let each person share their word and any stories that help explain why that word is the one they picked.
Introducing reflective practices into the New Year can help families clarify what is most important to them and discover lessons learned. Most of all, reflective activities can help families become more mindful of each other and learn how each member has been impacted by what they are experiencing together. The depth and complexity of the reflective activities will vary with age and interests, but the key is to make room to pause together, look back, listen, and recognize that each person’s experience matters because what has happened to each member is meaningful to everyone else.
About TLC
The Lincoln Center for Family and Youth (TLC) is a social enterprise company serving the Greater Philadelphia Area. Among its five divisions, TLC offers School-based Staffing Solutions, Mobile Coaching and Counseling, and Heather’s Hope: A Center for Victims of Crime. These major programs are united under TLC’s mission to promote positive choices and cultivate meaningful connections through education, counseling, coaching, and consulting.
About the Author
MaryJo Burchard (Ph.D. in Organizational Leadership) is co-founder and principal of Concord Solutions, a Virginia-based consultancy firm focused on helping leaders and organizations thrive while facing major disruption. Concord Solutions offers consulting, coaching, training, research, and keynote speaking surrounding trauma-informed leadership and assessing and building change readiness, trust, and belonging.