As parents, we play a crucial role in teaching our children essential life skills, and goal setting is among the most important. This guide is designed to help you navigate the process of teaching your child valuable goal-setting strategies so they can set out to pursue and achieve their goals and dreams.
Discovering Natural Talents and Interests
The journey begins by helping children discover their natural talents and interests. They may not recognize their potential until they’re challenged and encouraged to try new things. We can engage in playful challenges, quizzes, and creative games to help our children realistically assess their strengths and current limitations. This process is important in helping them to set realistic goals and build up their confidence and self-esteem.
Facing Fears of Failure and Success
It’s important to remember that children, like us, often fear failure or success for various reasons. As a parent, you can create a safe space for your child to express these fears. When we talk about goals with our children, it’s vital to address the emotional aspects, such as the fear of disappointment or the pressure of success. It also helps to reframe and embrace failure as a valuable tool, sharing your own experiences with failure and success can emphasize that both are part of the learning journey.
The Importance of Goals and Self-Discipline
Once your child shows interest in a particular area, the next step is to teach them about setting goals and the discipline required to achieve them. This involves helping them understand the value of SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals. Together, we can work with our children to set these goals and develop a plan to track their progress—teaching them the importance of commitment and the satisfaction of working towards and achieving a goal.
Breaking Down Big Goals
Kids love to dream big, and parents can help them reach their big goals by walking them through the process of breaking down their big goals into smaller, more manageable step goals. Providing a clear roadmap for success, makes big goals feel more attainable and illustrates the work that will be required and any possible barriers. Step goals can serve as mile-markers of progress, providing motivation and valuable learning along the way.
Keeping the Process Fun
Balancing discipline with fun is key to building a healthy relationship with goal setting and achievement for young people. Integrating enjoyable activities into the process can make it more engaging for your child. Working together to gamify tasks, celebrate small achievements, or set up reward systems can be great ways to keep the journey enjoyable for your child. Remember, the path to achievement is just as important as the destination, and maintaining a fun, positive environment helps keep your child motivated and engaged.
Guiding Questions for Goal-Setting
Here are some questions you can use to guide your child in setting and achieving their goals:
1. What’s one thing you want to do better?
2. How can we measure your improvement?
3. What’s one small step you can take today towards this goal?
4. Are you prepared to work consistently towards this goal?
5. How will you track your progress?
6. When will you review your progress to see if you’ve improved?
7. What can make this goal-setting process fun for you?
8. How will you celebrate your progress and eventual success?
Teaching our children how to set and work toward achieving their goals are vital life skills. It’s about helping them understand their potential, face their fears, and develop resilience and discipline. By guiding them through this process—and making it enjoyable–we equip our children with the tools they need for lifelong success and fulfillment. This journey, when approached with care and joy, can be a rewarding experience for both you and your child, laying the foundation for a future filled with purposeful and directed efforts.
About TLC
The Lincoln Center for Family and Youth (TLC) is a social enterprise company serving the Greater Philadelphia Area. Among its five divisions, TLC offers School-based Staffing Solutions, Mobile Coaching and Counseling, and Heather’s Hope: A Center for Victims of Crime. These major programs are united under TLC’s mission to promote positive choices and cultivate meaningful connections through education, counseling, coaching, and consulting.
About the Author
MaryJo Burchard (Ph.D. in Organizational Leadership) is co-founder and principal of Concord Solutions, a Virginia-based consultancy firm focused on helping leaders and organizations thrive while facing major disruption. Concord Solutions offers consulting, coaching, training, research, and keynote speaking surrounding trauma-informed leadership and assessing and building change readiness, trust, and belonging.